Running Solo

Wow, has it really been two weeks since I posted a blog entry?

Sorry about that! I have one that is sitting here that is about 80% done, but it just isn't ready to be read yet.

My hubby has been gone for about 10 days and I have just been too overwhelmed to even think about writing. I am barely even checking my email, haha!

I had forgotten how hard it was to function without him. I keep reminding myself that this 3 week stretch without his is way better than any deployment, but still, when I am in the moment, its not really all that helpful. I am still struggling.

I think I have cried just about everyday.

I have lost my temper several times...maybe more than several. :-(

I have tried to ignore the chaos around me.

I have actually let the baby scream for more than a minute or two.

Tonight, I actually didn't tuck my big kids in bed. I just sent them in their rooms and plopped them in their beds. I did that at 6:40pm. I was DONE being a mom for the day.

I hate feeling so overwhelmed with them. They are just being kids.

Not listening, pouring apple juice over pizza, peeing on the floor, running around with a poopy booty needing to be wiped while I am nursing the baby, needing a drink of water after they've gone to bed, running around the house making pillow and blanket piles to jump in, leaving trails of clothes and crumbs everywhere they go....

But to me, its overwhelming when I have both of them and a reflux"y" baby to tend to.

So, please excuse the lack of blog posts.

My Grandma came and visited me last week to help out, but she has now left and I am back to fending for myself again. My mother-in-law comes in 10 days. And then my hubby comes home shortly after that.

Then I want to run away for at least one whole day. With no children.

For now, I will just reminisce at the fun times we had when my Grandma and Grandpa Gene came to visit last week. They were so helpful! Such a huge blessing!

Like brother...or like sister

Everyone takes one look at my little N and says, "Wow, he looks just like his brother!"

But, when I see him, I can't help but to think he more resembles his sister. I seem to remember those chubby cheeks and dimple-less smile in her as a baby 5 years ago.

So what do you think?

Here is little N -

And here is C at about the same age -

And then here is D...the one everyone thinks he looks exactly like -

Baby Clothes

To you, this is just a bunch of baby clothes.

To me, its the clothes I can't get rid of.

I tried to pack up everything N has out grown. He is wearing size 6 months clothes now, so all his 0-3 and much of the 3-6 month things need go to make room for bigger things in the drawers.

Many of the things I put on him brought me right back to the days I put them on C and D when they were his tiny size.

So, when I got out a big box and started packing things up, I got stuck when I went to lay these things in there.

A newborn outfit and bibs that my only daughter wore.

The boys' newborn hospital "gowns."

A consignment store outfit all three of my babies wore.

Also in that pile are the outfits my boys wore home from the hospital and gowns I bought when I was pregnant with C 6 years ago...gender neutral because I didn't know she was a girl at the time. All three babies wore them.

The rest of the newborn clothing is now packed away in a box ready to be given to someone else to love.

But these garments, well, they are mine.

Most likely, they will get packed up eventually. Maybe I will put something in a shadow box.

And maybe. Again, just a maybe, they will end up on baby no. 4 one day ;-)

8 Years

Eight years ago today, I was at our church with my mom and a whole crew setting up for one of the most special days of my whole life - my wedding on August 2, 2003.

I was barely 21 and very much in love with my sweetie. We had no idea where life would take us - just that we'd go at it together...

Today, I am 29 and still very much in love with my sweetie. I am more proud of him today than ever and though I still don't know exactly where life will take us, at least I know who will be along for the ride.

My secret to a happy marriage:

Have a bunch of kids - you will be so busy, you will not have time to think about your marriage. (Just Kidding...well, sort of)

The real advice:

Make sacrifices and keep smiling through the tears. If you both do that, things will work!

Oh, and have children. Nothing makes me happier in my marriage than seeing my dearly beloved be a daddy to the children the Lord gave to us.

Happy Anniversary, Babe!

First this. Then this.

First, this happened...

A MOUSE ate a hole through D's car seat cover when I had it in the garage for about a week.

I discovered this as I went to reinstall it in the van. So, needless to say, after freaking out about the grossness of a mouse being in my garage - and in D's seat (ewww....) - I realized I'd need to play the "car seat shuffle" once again.

Then this...

I have a total of 6 seats.

Two for each child.

We have 2 vehicles, so this makes sense to me (and its how I justify it to my hubby).

The end results was putting the baby back in the infant bucket seat and rear facing D AGAIN in the baby's new seat - a Radian. This was the easiest of the shuffling since the Radian was already installed. He fits pretty well! And at just 30lbs, he is still WELL within the 45lb rear facing weight limit.

Check out where he puts his legs. He cracks me up :-) Plus, he and C love to see each other and play "footsie" while we drive. Haha!

And just for fun :-)

*Disclaimer*

For those of you who think I am "extreme" for my weirdness about carseat safety, I will mention that the reason I decided to flip D around again is because I read about a family who was involved in a wreck. Their 2 1/2 year old forward facing toddler was killed, but their 8 month old rear-facer was completely unharmed. Of course, I don't know all the details of the wreck, but to me, its not worth the chance. I would never in a million years forgive myself if something unthinkable happened to D when I had the knowledge and the equipment to fully protect him and his precious little neck and head. :-) Just my $.02

Third Baby

"Is he your first?"

"No, he's my third. I have a 5 year old daughter and 2 1/2 year old son too. "

This is pretty much a standard conversation when people see me walking around with N strapped to my chest in one of my baby carriers. (On the rare occasion when I don't have my other two ducklings following behind me, of course.)

The problem is that I wish I could add more.

"He may be my third, but he is every bit as special as my first and second. He is not simply one more child in my kid clan. He is created by God, loved by me and his dad, and he is just about as perfect as they come."

I think every baby should be celebrated - not because moms and dads need MORE baby products for 2nd, 3rd, and 4th babies, but because each baby is special and unique.

N is different from C and D. He is an easier baby. He is my only exclusively breastfed baby. He likes to fall asleep on my chest. He likes his bouncy seat. He doesn't like the car seat. He smiles a wide mouth smile. He doesn't have much hair. He has a very round head and his thighs have a bit of a roll on them. He weighs 13lbs. He loves baths, his paci, being rocked, sleeping swaddled, and having his hand up by his ear.

He is a gift. A blessing unlike any other. He is my son.

My third baby - but my only N.

The Thumb

THUMBS

Oh the thumb-sucker’s thumb

May look wrinkled and wet

And withered, and white as the snow,

But the taste of a thumb

Is the sweetest taste yet

(As only we thumb-suckers know).

Shel Silverstein