Broken Hearts and Fear

I don't know if its just that our emotions are heightened at this time of year or if it really is true that more hearts are breaking right now.

It seems like each time I turn around, I learn about a new shaking world for someone.

I have a friend my age battling caner right now. All she wants for Christmas is to see her young children grow up. I have people in my life who are suffering from broken relationships. Long standing relationships, now over...in an instant. There are beautiful, amazing, mature women longing to be married and building families of their own. But as the years go by, God keeps saying, "no, not yet." And then there are those wonderful couples that want nothing more than a baby of their own. And no matter what they do, no matter how hard they try, it just isn't happening.

Broken hearts.

Broken hearts to the left.

Broken hearts to the right.

I have been thinking about this blog entry for a few days. I don't really know what to say or how to approach the subject - the subject of the reality of life.

That life is unfair. That sin is in this world and it isn't the perfect world that God originally designed. And its hard. Very hard for so many of us.

All I can really say is that if I know about your situation, I am praying for you. I know there are hundreds of situations I don't know of, but for those of you that have made your struggles public or for those of you that have confided in me, I am praying for you.

Praying for peace in your heart.

Praying for you to feel the Lord holding you.

And often, praying for a miracle.

My heart breaks for you. My tears fall with yours. And I am up many nights tossing and turning in bed praying and crying out to the Lord with you.

As I think about this whole issue, I am reminded of a Beth Moore bible study video I watched once about fear. She talked about facing some of our biggest fears. She says that one of hers in the past has been that her husband would leave her for another woman. That she wouldn't be desirable to him. That her children would like the new woman and that she would be left alone.

She explained how to process through the fear.

For me, my biggest fear in all the world is losing one of my children. I am sure many of you share that fear.

She told us to press on...

Then what? After your biggest fear happens.

So, if I lose a child, then what?

Well, I'd be devastated.

I'd cry for months.

I don't know how I'd carry on.

I'd be mad, angry, sad, and hopeless all at the same time.

I might think I can't continue living...

Then what?

Well, then I guess I'd eventually get up. My tears may eventually start to lessen.

I'd have to continue on for my other children. Get them fed, dressed, and to school. Maybe I'd get counseling to help process my aching breaking heart.

Then what?

Then I guess eventually life would keep going. It just wouldn't stop, I guess.

Then what?

Then life becomes a new normal.

Then what?

Then God.

He is still there.

He never left.

No matter what happened. No matter how horrible I feel. No matter how angry and sad I become.

If everything in this world was taken from me...

Then God.

My God is faithful.

I heard this message as my husband was deployed. I cried as I listened to her speak. I thought of what it would be like if my husband didn't make it home. Or if something horrible happened to a member of my immediate family. I processed through a lot of my fears.

An although it didn't make my anticipated immediate reaction to those fears lessen any, it reminded me that the outcome is always the same.

Then God.

For those of you who have a shaking world right now, He is there as well. That shaking world is probably shaking because of a fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of dying. Fear of someone you love dying. Fear of never having a family.

It seems like most of what we go through in life that challenges us derives from a fear.

Beth Moore states all of this much better than I even could. If you need an answer. Or hope. Or even if you don't need either, I'd highly suggest you listen to her speak on the topic of fear.