Friday, September 24, 2010

Far From Family

Today I was watching, "A Baby Story" on TLC and it got me thinking about how much I miss what I don't have. See, in this episode, the expecting family was moving to a new house a week before their baby was due to arrive. It was a crazy move since they were expecting the new baby at any time! The girl's family was there to help them get moved and settled. There was even a clip of the sister unpacking all the pots and pan into the cabinets! The mom-to-be said, "We really couldn't have done this without the help of our families."

That made me sad - but not sad for her. It made me sad for me. Since the day we got married, B and I have been "spreading our wings." Flying away from the flock. Soaring into uncharted new cities. Figuring out new roads, new Wal-Marts, and new places to shop. I have never regretted moving away or "freeing" myself from my hometown, but at the same time, I miss my family greatly.

One of the times that I have missed them the most was at the births of each one of my children.

When I had my daughter in TN, my mom came to visit and stay with us for a week. When we were in the hospital we had a tricking of our friends and B's coworkers come to meet our new addition. When I had my son in NC, my mom and my sister came to help. My mom was there to experience his birth and my sister watched my daughter. We left the hospital the next day. We had no friends come. Just one lone soldier sent on behalf of my husband's unit. I didn't even know him. I am not sure if my husband did either, haha.

I know that we are loved and cared about by our families, but it just seems like something is missing when you are so far away that those people that mean the most can't come and share in the excitement of our lives. Frequently when I have visited friends and cousins in the hospital after the births of their babies, there has been a "revolving door" of visitors coming to meet the new baby and congratulate the parents. I know this must be exhausting for the new mom and dad, but I can't help but to be envious of all the visitors and loved ones who make the trek to the hospital just to share in this special day. I have heard stories from friends who say that the waiting room was packed full of family members while they pushed the baby out in privacy. One friend told me her family even overflowed outside the waiting room, haha. What a blessing that must have been.

I know it seems that the grass is always greener on the other side. Perhaps some of my friends wish they could have had their babies in peace and quiet and then been able to rest all alone in the hospital followed by coming home to a quiet house like I did. But for me, an extreme extrovert, I wish I had the hoopla. I'd like to think that the "next" baby will be different. But now that we live even further from our family and friends, I have a feeling it may be even less than it was with the first two. I imagine we will have our "good" friends (I don't know who this is yet) watch the kids while I am in labor. Hopefully my mom can be here for the birth, but with an 11 hour drive between us, that may not be feasible. I can only hope that we make a lot of good friends between now and "then" so that we will feel the support and love that so many new moms and dads have when they live closer to home.

So basically, I have just come to realize that, "spreading our wings" isn't all roses and sunshine. Sometimes I want to close them and come tumbling back into the nest. :-)

And then have a baby and have everyone come to visit and bring flowers and balloons!

1 comment:

  1. {{{hugs}}} we are far from family too - and it definitely isn't easy being so far away. But God has always been so faithful!