Sunday, August 21, 2011

Running Solo

Wow, has it really been two weeks since I posted a blog entry?

Sorry about that! I have one that is sitting here that is about 80% done, but it just isn't ready to be read yet.

My hubby has been gone for about 10 days and I have just been too overwhelmed to even think about writing. I am barely even checking my email, haha!

I had forgotten how hard it was to function without him. I keep reminding myself that this 3 week stretch without his is way better than any deployment, but still, when I am in the moment, its not really all that helpful. I am still struggling.

I think I have cried just about everyday.

I have lost my temper several times...maybe more than several. :-(

I have tried to ignore the chaos around me.

I have actually let the baby scream for more than a minute or two.

Tonight, I actually didn't tuck my big kids in bed. I just sent them in their rooms and plopped them in their beds. I did that at 6:40pm. I was DONE being a mom for the day.

I hate feeling so overwhelmed with them. They are just being kids.

Not listening, pouring apple juice over pizza, peeing on the floor, running around with a poopy booty needing to be wiped while I am nursing the baby, needing a drink of water after they've gone to bed, running around the house making pillow and blanket piles to jump in, leaving trails of clothes and crumbs everywhere they go....

But to me, its overwhelming when I have both of them and a reflux"y" baby to tend to.

So, please excuse the lack of blog posts.

My Grandma came and visited me last week to help out, but she has now left and I am back to fending for myself again. My mother-in-law comes in 10 days. And then my hubby comes home shortly after that.

Then I want to run away for at least one whole day. With no children.

For now, I will just reminisce at the fun times we had when my Grandma and Grandpa Gene came to visit last week. They were so helpful! Such a huge blessing!

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