Saturday, May 1, 2010

Not what I thought

I am not who I thought I'd be. Not as a woman - but as a mom. I don't know exactly what kind of mom I thought I'd be. But I guess I thought I would just go with the flow of what everyone else did.

Four years ago, when I because a mom, I think that is what I did. I breast-fed our new bundle because that's what I was told was best. I immunized her because the doctor said to do it. I bought diapers at Wal-Mart, Target, and Babies R Us. She rode in her infant seat in the middle of our SUV because that was safest. I flipped her forward facing on her first birthday because they said I could. I fed her solid foods when they said to and then table foods when she was ready. I cut out the bottle between 12-15 months just like I should.

But so much of that has changed since I had my second child. I guess I've changed. I like to think I've grown. I am more confident and comfortable as a mom. D is now 18 months old and I am a whole different parent now. Things began the same way - I breast-fed him for 4 1/2 months and bought diapers at the store. I held off on solids until he was 5 1/2 months old this time even though I could have done it at 4 months. Somewhere around the time he turned 5-6 months old, I began to research cloth diapers because I was tired of paying so much for disposables that I ended up throwing away at the end of the day anyway. I decided on this route for him and now I order all my diapers online.

I purchased his convertible car seat online as well and after doing some research, I decided I wanted to keep him rear-facing much longer than the minimum recommendations of 1 year old and 20 pounds. Today he is 18 months old and almost 25 pounds. He is in the 70%tile in his length but he still rides rear facing in his Britax car seat quite comfortably. His pediatrician told me I could flip him...afterall, he meets all minimum safety requirements, but I decided to follow the recommendation of the AAP and keep him rear facing longer.

I do immunize him right on schedule not only because that is what the doctors tell me to do, but because I have done the research. I have made the decision that he should have these protections from horrible childhood diseases.

Sometime after beginning using cloth diapers and feeling like I was contributing less waste to our landfills, I decided to start recycling. (I know I should have been doing this all along, but I admit, I haven't been). Today, my recycling bin is overflowing with cardboard, cans, plastic bottles, and even empty DVD cases. In my house, if it CAN be recycled, it will be :-) I just think of that plastic bottle laying in a landfill longer than I am going to be alive...that makes me take the extra step and throw it in the recycling bin.

My most recent "who have I become?" moment was this week when I made a decision regarding my oldest child's Pre K education next year. I have decided to homeschool her with a Christian Pre-K curriculum. This is SO unlike me! Or so I thought. My husband and I have our reasons for deciding to homeschool from financial issues to safety issues, but the bottom line is - when did I become a mom who wants to homeschool?

When did I become a mom who uses cloth diapers? And goes against the grain and keeps her toddler rear-facing considerably longer than all her friends? And recycles everything? And has decided to homeschool?

I can only attribute my "momness" to the the Lord. Clearly He is shaping me and molding me the way He wants me to be. I am completely happy with all of my decisions. I am also completely aware that what is right for me as a mom may not be right for you (except the rear facing thing! - that should be right for you too). So I may not really recognize myself when I take a step back, but I know that I am His daughter. He recognizes me. That makes me very special...

I also know that it may make me a little weird. :-) I'm okay with that though...

Yet, O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter, we are all the work of your hand.
Isaiah 64:8

1 comment:

  1. All's so YOU! You have become who He knew you would become. I love the woman you've become.